Real Moments, Real Feedback: Two Weeks in Aspen with an Aussie Family
From Australia to Aspen — Life’s Funny Like That
Last October, I was surfing in Australia when I got a call from an Australian number. It was a mom looking for a nanny for her family’s winter trip to Aspen. I laughed and said, “What a coincidence, I’m in Australia right now — want to meet for coffee?” We did, in Sydney. A few months later, I was looking after her three kids in the snow: a 4-year-old boy, a 6-year-old girl, and a 9-year-old girl.
We spent two full weeks together — from ski school runs and bowling nights to one quick trip to the ER for some stitches. The parents were warm, kind, and fun — we all got along so well that I truly felt like part of the family.
At the end of the trip, they did something no one had ever asked me before: they wanted real feedback. Not just “they’re great!” — but really, what I observed. As someone who has spent nearly a decade working closely with children and observing different family dynamics, and who genuinely enjoys reading about child behavior and development, I was happy to share a few honest reflections.
1. The youngest: not the troublemaker, just the little brother
He often got labeled the wild one — but I noticed he was actually being teased by his older sisters. He wasn’t acting out for no reason; he was reacting. Studies show that sibling bullying (even when it seems playful) can have lasting emotional effects. Once we shifted the focus to protecting and supporting him instead of just correcting him, things improved.
Tip: Watch for the patterns. Who starts the fights? Who gets left out? Step in early and praise moments of kindness between siblings.
2. The middle child: learning to lose with support
One night we all went bowling. She lost, and her dad teased her in a lighthearted way, hoping to cheer her up. But instead, it made her feel worse. I gently asked him, “How will she learn to cope with losing if we don’t help her process it?” When we brush off kids’ feelings, we miss a teaching moment.
Tip: Losing is tough for kids. Share your own stories of failing and trying again. Help them name the feeling, and remind them that it’s okay to feel disappointed — it’s how we grow.
3. The eldest: looking for attention in all the wrong places
As the oldest, she often stirred up tension — and then backed away once the chaos started. Classic big sibling move. I think she was craving attention and didn’t quite know how to ask for it in a positive way. So I gave her small leadership roles, like helping with her siblings or leading the bedtime story. It completely changed the energy.
Tip: The oldest often takes on more than we realize. Giving them a sense of responsibility — without extra pressure — gives them a way to feel seen and important.
4. Why validation matters — for everyone
The one thing that helped every child calm down? Feeling heard. When I said, “That was frustrating, wasn’t it?” instead of “You’re fine,” they felt understood — and moved on more quickly. Research shows that emotional validation helps kids regulate themselves and persist through challenges.
Tip: You don’t need to fix the feeling. Just name it, sit with it, and then work through it together.
A few reminders I carry with me:
Why this story matters
These little insights — the ones we gather during ski boot tantrums and bedtime stories — can help raise more emotionally aware, resilient kids. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up, noticing, and guiding gently.
