Two ways down the trail

What matters most with children is not avoiding the tough moments but guiding them through. With patience, connection, and a little choice, even a stubborn pause on a trail can turn into a chance to grow.

I was reminded of this lesson on a recent hike with a six-year-old boy I’ve known for years. He had just returned to town after the summer, and as soon as I saw him, he looked up at me with his mischievous smile and asked:

“Gaby, who is your favorite person in the world?”

Before I answered, I asked him the same. He thought for a moment and said, “My parents first… and then you.” Moments like these remind me why I love what I do.

Hunter Creek adventure

So, on his first day back, we celebrated with a hike. He’s always been energetic, but I was surprised to see him scrambling over rocks with such ease. It made me realize he was ready for something a bit longer and more challenging.

Not long after, we set off for Hunter Creek. If you’re familiar with Aspen, you know it’s an easy-to-moderate trail, fairly long for a six-year-old, with some steeper sections and plenty of rocky stretches. To make things extra fun, we brought along a dog I sometimes take care of, which made the morning even more exciting for him.

The boy was full of energy, running ahead, tossing rocks, and keeping up with the dog. We eventually made it to a spot by the water, a creek that widens into a pool. We jumped in with the dog. The water was icy cold, and everything felt thrilling. We laughed as the dog shook himself dry right next to us, spraying us all over again.

Two ways down

Everything was perfect until it was time to head back. The water was freezing, and soon he felt cold. Suddenly, my adventurous six-year-old didn’t want to move. He asked me to carry him, and when I suggested he put on his sweatshirt to warm up, he refused. Stubbornness kicked in.

“I’m not happy,” he told me plainly.

I loved that he could put his feelings into words, but I was frustrated too. I started walking, hoping he’d follow, but he got upset because I had left him behind. That’s when I stopped, took a breath, and reminded myself there were really two ways down the trail.

I sat down with him and said, “You have two choices. One is to stay upset, make the way down harder, and end our day in a bad mood. The other is to put on your sweatshirt, warm up, and come run and play with the dog and me.”

I explained those two paths to him. Something clicked. He looked at me with that spark again and said, “I’m not cold anymore.”

We hugged, I lifted him in the air until he laughed, and just like that, the mood shifted. We made it back down the trail enjoying ourselves again, the tough moment already behind us.

A reminder from No Bad Kids

Reading Janet Lansbury’s No Bad Kids has taught me the importance of connection before correction. When a child is upset, the first step is to acknowledge their feelings, to let them know they are understood, and only then help them find a better choice. That moment on the trail reminded me of her approach. By sitting down with him, listening to “I’m not happy” and “I’m cold,” I gave space for connection. By offering him two paths, I redirected without forcing. He still had the choice, and that made all the difference.

Why I treasure days like this

That day reminded me that hikes aren’t just about reaching a destination. They are about the little choices we make along the way. Kids, and adults too, always have two paths: the one that keeps us stuck in frustration, and the one that lets us move forward. I could have chosen not to care, kept walking, and let the moment get heavier. Instead, I stopped, took a breath, and turned it into a chance to connect.

He may think I’m one of his favorite people in the world, but the truth is, he’s one of mine too. And together, we found the better way down the trail.